


Ashes

by KingSnow5750



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: Adventure, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-01-25 06:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21351976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingSnow5750/pseuds/KingSnow5750
Summary: Waking up in his ruined castle, N has lost everything. His goals, his family, and his people were all a lie. What is there left to do for someone like him?Alder thinks something new can be built where the ashes of N's life lie.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is an au I've wanted to write for a while. I think Alder is massively underappreciated, so i wrote this to give him and N some love. I hope you enjoy!

Senses crashed into N one at a time. First, a dull roar, stone crumbling to the ground. The air was electrical and singed, filling his nose with an acrid taste. He coughed the fine dust out of his chest and opened his eyes to chaos. The room's beautiful marble tiles were crushed, windows shattered, walls scorched with soot. Where… was he? Where was--

N! You're okay!  N looked to the sound of pattering footsteps and saw him. "Zorua!" He tried to sit up. A headache stabbed into him and every injury found it's way into his memory. N starts to remember. A fight? Between him and… that trainer. 

Zorua jumped onto him, derailing his train of thought. The fox curled under his chin, quivering with fear.  I'm sorry…  he cried,  I know you want me to leave but… I can't! I missed you! N thought of that boy again. The one who's Pokemon had open hearts and minds like N had never seen. What about the other trainers? Hundreds had released their Pokemon. Did they feel the same? He knew, he  knew that Pokemon loved their trainers. Why is this surprising? Arceus, he's so stupid, so--

N? Zorua said tentatively,  are you okay? You usually talk to me. If you really are mad, I'll…

"No!" Snapped N, perhaps too harshly, "Don't go. Please… stay with me. I'm sorry, I… I didn't think about your feelings," he stammered. He pulled Zorua close. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I missed you so much but--" his voice hiccuped "I thought you'd be happier that way," Zorua was silent at this. There was a lot to think about. The fox cuddled deeper into N's chest, and he could feel him crying too. Arceus. Everything was gone. Everything but Zorua. Reshiram was gone, father was gone. Ghetsis hated him anyway. He heard… small parts of what he said. He didn't want to hear the rest.

"I really messed up, didn't I, Zorua? I'm so happy you're still here," N wanted to cry. He wanted to fly away on Reshiram forever. He wanted to dig a hole in the ground and never come back.

I'm glad you're back! Please let me stay this time! Zorua begged. N didn't think Zorua would want to stay. N didn't know what Pokemon really wanted. He thought he did, but is anything he knew true anymore?

"Of course you can stay," N said, "Even if I don't know where to go."

  
  


The two heard another set of feet echoing down the hall. The two froze. He needed to hide. He slowly got up and tried to crawl his way behind a towering pile of crushed rocks, scooping Zorua up silently. The footsteps echoed closer. N peeked around the corner. The man had fiery red hair and a poncho. Was that the champion? It couldn't be. No, no, anyone else!

Run. Run! N couldn't run. Where could he run to? He slowly eased himself into a hunched stance, stuck between running and staying. The man heard this and turned toward N. "Hey, hey, calm down. I'm not here to hurt you," he called. When N didn't immediately run, he took a small step forward. Another one.

"Will you turn me in?" N asks.

He pauses. After a time, he sighs, "You will have to talk to the police. However, I won't let them arrest you. We've all seen what happened, and Ghetsis was clearly the mastermind behind this."

"So… is Ghetsis arrested?"

"Yes"

N doesn't know how to feel. His stomach twists with the thought of his own father, the man that raised him, in jail. But… is he really N's father? Ghetsis doesn't see himself as that. He doesn't even think N is a human. A  freak . That's what he called him. Without a human heart. He hates it, but a small part of him loves his father. He wants to have hope that he can change, wants to hope that the small acts of kindness Ghetsis would show him would become commonplace. He wants a  real father.

"Good," N sighed.

The champion took a few steps around the rubble. N initially thought the champion was rather young, but now he can see the lines of old age around his face, the sprinkles of gray hair in his otherwise vibrant ponytail."Come here, my boy. We'll get you cleaned up and you can see Reshiram again," he held out a hand, "I don't believe we've formally met. I'm Alder, a wandering champion of sorts,"

"Reshiram? It's still here?" N thought it would have left, seeing as he failed as a champion. Alder gained a light, but weary sort of smile. "What? Can't give this old man an introduction?" He asked.

"Oh! I apologize… I thought…" N started. Thought what? That Alder already knew him? That he would despise N so much that he wouldn't want a name? "It doesn't matter. I'm N," he finished.

"Nothing else?" Alder asked. What else was there to N? Everything he knew, everything he believed in was wrong, crushed to nothing.

"Just N. There's nothing else," he replied.

"Well, 'Just N,' it's nice to meet you," Alder smiled. "Now, let's going."


	2. A New Home, A New Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now in a new life, N has more questions than ever before. Who is he, and what can he do next? He doesn't know, but he's found people to help him along the way

Alder led N out of the room and through the castle halls. He walked slowly, giving N time to shuffle alongside him. All of the grand halls were wrecked by the fights. Dust irritated N's lungs, and large chunks of marble had falled down. N felt the tension rising up in these halls, but for once he couldn't bring himself to talk. He instead pulled his menger sponge off of it's chain and started fidgeting it with it. He already knew a million ways to solve it, but his mind couldn't focus much on even this.

N jumped, lost in his mindless fidgeting. Alder had asked something. "S-sorry, what?" N cringed.  _ Don't stammer, idiot! A king always knows what to say. _ Alder didn't seem to notice or mind. "Do you know where we are?" He repeated. Did the champion get lost? It seemed unlikely given the sense of direction he probably had, plus how many times he could have traveled this corridor. His eyes glanced around the hall, but N couldn't tell if there was confusion on his face.

N looked around the hall too. This place was certainly familiar, though the halls may look the same to those who didn't know them. "I do. This is near my old bedroom," N replied hesitantly. If he went back there, would it still feel like home? This place, it feels strange. Like he should know what it feels like and where everything is, but he doesn't. It was a clear equation, but the answer just didn't make sense.

Alder stopped and looked around, trying to find a room that could be N's. He quirked an eyebrow at the nearest, a bright room filled with toys. N nodded. Hes should follow, but he doesn't want to. He steeled himself. He would at least go to the dorrway. He didn't need to step in.

_ This place doesn't feel right anymore _ . Zorua whispered as the two stepped towards the room. "You feel it too?" N mumbled. Trying not to catch the attention of Alder. Zorua nodded.  _ It feels bad now. I used to know this place, but now… _

"Now we can see what it really was?"

_ Yeah _ . 

Alder didn't seem to respond to this exchange, but N felt his sideways glance, the need to look, to question, but not doing so. Alder started examining the childish, wrecked room. Toys were strewn everywhere, and N could remember each instance, each reason as to why he became so violent to his only belongings. Alder looked at the trains, the basketball. At the half pipe, he stopped. "What are these? Scratch marks?"

_ Purrloin… I miss her. _ N startled. He couldn't tell if those were his own thoughts or Zorua's. He tried to help her, he really did. He tried talking to her, playing with her, even just leaving her alone. But she was always miserable. He remembered how her fur became patchy and she refused to eat, only wearing her claws down on anything she could. He didn't see it happen. One day he woke up on the floor of his cold, lonely room, and never saw Purrloin again. Alder looked at the scratches closely, running his finger along the seams. He sighed and stood up. He no longer seemed curious of the room, giving everything else only a quick once-over.

  
  


He continued their slow walk wordlessly. The corridors and rooms wound on. N felt like he needed to say something. He's not good at conversation. Suddenly he remembered:

"Reshiram! You said it was here? Why?" There was no way N was still worthy of Reshiram.

"Why not? You awakened it from the stone. It obviously saw something in you. Pokemon don't leave their trainers so easily, you know,"

"I'm not its trainer! I'm just… I'm not sure. Usually I only think of Pokemon as my friends," N said, perhaps a little harshly.

"Woah, okay! So its just your friend? Friends don't tend to leave each other either," Alder replied, giving N a quick pat on the shoulder. "Whatever relationship you have with Reshiram, or any of your… Pokemon friends, I'm sure they're not going to leave you behind,"

_ They're not going to leave you behind. _ But N already had done that hadn't he? Those Pokemon were his friends and he forced them to leave.  _ He _ had abandoned them. "I guess." he forced out. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. It made his gut twist with guilt and shame for all of his hurt friends. "Are we almost there yet?" It was a lame way to change the subject, they both knew. However, they  _ were _ nearing the end of the castle.

N's eyes stung as they exited the castle and entered the much brighter champion room. He had only been here a few hours ago, and already it was changed, wrecked. He hated what this room stood for, but something panged to think of the destruction he had caused. "Reshiram's waiting for you. Go let it know you're here before we go," Alder informed N. He nodded and steeled himself, then stepped out.

The air grew hot and dusty as he stepped out of the threshold. The place had a sandy, deserty feel, with the colors being muted browns and yellows. Resting on the stairs leading up to the champion's room it layed. It's orange and white colors stood out blindingly amongst the barren, packed dirt. Even with the wind blowing through it's feathers, the dust didn't seem to mar it at all. Reshiram. 

N didn't hear himself call for it, but it slowly turned it's head toward him, squinting at him from below. After a moment, it shifted it's body and stood, reaching N even from a dozen steps below.  _ You have arrived, my hero. _ Reshiram said, voice echoing from deep in it's chest. It moved it's head forward, planting it's nose on N's forhead for a moment, in an almost motherly gesture.

"I'm not your hero. My convictions… they weren't true after all. They were all lies! And the world I sought was never real," he hated this. He didn't want to disappoint Reshiram. He didn't want to confess his weakness. His naievety.

_ I know _ .

"What?" N didn't recognize his voice. It sounded meek and childish. "What do you mean?" Why would Reshiram pick him if--

_ I always knew what you fought for wasn't really what you wanted. That is not why I picked you. Your convictions wavered, and that is what makes you strong. _

"But that doesn't make sense. Is this a puzzle, Reshiram?" Reshiram nodded.  _ Think about this for a bit and come back to me. You are a smart young man, but I do not know if you have grown enough to understand this. _

N stung at the notion that he couldn't solve something. _ Stop it. You know Reshiram's right _ . Reshiram leaned in again, and N realized how much heat radiated off of it. It licked his cheek, tongue course and warm.  _ Cheer up, young man. _ It rumbled,  _ you have a long journey ahead, but I'm proud of what you've already done. _

"But I'm not sure where to go next," N admitted. "What should I do?"

_ It doesn't matter where you go or what you do. Right now, you only need to learn. _ N was a bit disappointed at how unclear this was, but it eased him to know that Reshiram was unworried. "Alright," he sighed. "I think I need to go for now. Alder is waiting on me," Reshiram glanced down the endless stairs, then back at N.  _ You're too tired for that. I'll take you down there. Your friend too. _

N wanted to protest, but he felt the injuries and exhaustion he had gathered and did otherwise. "Thank you. I am… quite tired," he gestured for Alder, who was waiting at the entrance of the building, to come down.

Alder looked quite awed in the presence of a legendary, glancing to it now and again. "I've never been so close to such power," he breathed. "If only Drayden were here right now," N didn't know who Drayden was, and was too weary to ask. "Reshiram says we can ride it down to the league," N said. Alder looked giddy at the prospect.

The two climbed onto Reshiram's back and were off. Even on such a short fly, the view was beautiful and his stomach tumbled with each lurch of Reshiram's wings. But very soon they landed at the league and the two had to clamber down. Reshiram cleared it's throat and spoke.  _ I need to know what happened. Keep me updated on these people _ . N didn't respond, but Reshiram surely knew he understood.

N hugged it goodbye and followed Alder into the league. There seemed to be four rooms at first glance, but Alder lead him into a secluded side room. The room led into a wide corridor with several doors along it. At the end, N could see a lounge of some sort. Alder opened a door, leading into a bathroom. "Clean up in here. I'll get dinner going. Can't let you sleep on an empty stomach, can I?" He laughed. N nodded, though he had definitely gone to bed without dinner before.

N didn't realize how tattered his clothes were until he took them off. They were definitely ruined. He ran a bath and reached for a soap bottle. But wait. What soap could he use? He should have asked.  _ Calm down. This man isn't like father. He won't be mad. _ He turned to Zorua. "Which soap looks the best?" He asked. Zorua picked a red and black bottle.  _ It looks like me! _ He squealed.  _ Have fun! _

N smiled. "Me? You're coming in here too," he felt a hint of mischief in his voice, matched by Zorua's reply,  _ Only if you can catch me! _ He yelled. Before N could say anything, Zorua hopped out of his grasp and onto the counter. Oh, was this how it would be? Challenge accepted.

What must have been an hour later, after N had washed a squirming, hyper fox, had a splash fight in the tub, and finally washed all of the grime off of him, especially his hair, he settled down into the tub and relaxed. He submerged himself under the water, feeling the slight stinging of all of his cuts and scrapes.

What did Reshiram mean? How could a wavering resolve be strength? It frustrated him. Another equation with no solution. He felt like this before, not long ago. It was when he saw the solution to the problem he had, the problem with Pokemon being hurt by humans. But there wasn't a problem. Trainers rarely hurt their Pokemon. Over and over, he saw another variable that threw his perfect equation off balance. Numbers unaccounted for. Puzzle pieces that didn't fit the puzzle. He saw the truth, and he didn't like it. Is that what it was? No, of course not! He refused the truth, even after seeing evidence of it. Arceus, the answer felt so close, but he couldn't reach it!

Finally, after the water had cooled considerably, N got out. After putting a brush through his hair (and quickly giving up on it) he put on a towel and headed out. He bumped into something as he opened the door. A first aid kit and a pair of fresh clothes.

N opened the kit, but didn't know what to do with most of it. He saw guaze and bandaids, which he certainly needed, but wasn't he supposed to disinfect his wounds first? How does he do that? He didn't want to risk it, so he decided to just use bandaids. Some of his cuts couldn't even be covered by one bandaid! How do people do this? He eventually gave up on his larger wounds and just did what he could. Maybe he could ask for help later.

He put on the clothes, a plain black shirt and sweatpants that were too big for him, and headed out. N's stomach growled mightily at the smells coming from the kitchen, and Zorua yipped in approval. He headed down the hall. Now in the lounge, he could see another door leading into what had to be the kitchen. He spared the room a glance. Two couches, a bookshelf, a tv. He saw empty mugs and a deck of cards on a coffee table.

Alder stood above a pan, humming as he chopped vegetables beside it. He startled as N came close. "Arceus, N! Don't sneak up on me like that," he laughed. N opened his mouth to apologize, but Alder stopped him. "Eat this," he picked up a sliced berry and dropped it in N's hand. 

"You're adding berries to stir fry?" N asked. It seemed strange, but maybe it was just a tradition he didn't know about. He popped the berry piece in his mouth. It was sweet and spicy, with not much give to it. 

"It's definitely a bit strange, but on the road I got used to adding any ingredients on hand," Alder explained. "I think being open to different flavors is important in cooking. In life too, I suppose,"

"I agree. I… didn't see it before, but being exposed to different people, different ideas, that was the most valuble lesson I've ever learned," Alder hummed in agreement. "It seems like you didn't have many chances like that growing up," he said, giving the rice a last toss before turning off the stove. He served up two bowls and sat the two down at the table.

"I didn't have any chances at all. Not until Ghetsis thought I was old enough," N replied. 

"Well then, I'm glad you've come this far, N. You'll always be welcome to talk to me if you stay on this path" He put a hand on N's shoulder. "I may not be your father, but I am  _ a  _ father, and I may have some guidance for you. Being a young man is hard, and you haven't had a good start,"

N didn't know what to say to that. Not many people have stood by his side like this, barring Team Plasma. Nobody  _ should _ , not after what he's done. But he does want someone to talk to so much. He's never really had that. He must have took to long to respond, because Alder cleared his throat, "Of course, that's up to you. I know we haven't always been on good terms,"

"No, no!" N found his voice for a moment. But what does he want? What does he deserve? "I'd like that. A lot."  _ But I don't deserve it _ , he meant to say. But the words didn't leave his mind.

Alder looked relieved at this. "Alright. I may have some unorthodox ways, but I've gained then from wisdom, you know! There are some perks to being an old man like me," He finished his bowl and put it in the sink. "When you're done just come out and I'll grab you some blankets. Hope you don't mind a couch!" N didn't mind a couch. He usually slept on a floor.

Alder laid out a light floral sheet and fluffly pillow. "Marshal wakes up early in the morning, and sometimes Shauntal likes to wander at night, but don't mind them," Alder smiled. "Anything else you need?" 

"I'll be fine,"

"Alright, just grab one of us if you need anything,"

  
N looked down at the couch, calling him to sleep. "I can't believe we have a real bed, Zorua. Or at least something close to it," he yawned, taking a seat and curling up. It was so soft. N wasnt surd if he had ever slept on something so soft before.  _ Yeah… it's perfect to jump on, _ Zorua teased, but he was too tired to go through with the threat. He instead yawned and spun a few circles on the couch before plopping down. N wanted to think about what Reshiram said, or what Alder said, or just his future. What was he to do now? But his limbs ached and soon the lull of sleep was too much to resist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired but we're getting through! How do you guys feel about this? I'm mostly concerned about my characterization and pacing. Im not as familiar with Alder and I've never been properly taught pacing.


	3. Champions of Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is tired today, but they can all sit down, enjoy the day, and relax in the tenporary peace they have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you for sticking with me so far. I'm swamped with life but I'm still gonna write this. This chapter is very peaceful and happy, I think. Surprisingly, it was a little tough to write. Now I have fanart for this chapter. Its not the greatest, but I tried.  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/18b7c411d44d40a0e5e3404a5a2cc20e/3c7ae3c9f6753185-e1/s640x960/c21b58421a5068eb704e5e5eb60ccdfcebd2f886.jpg

As N dozed off on the couch, Alder contemplated the boy. From early on, something about N didn't sit right. His motives were too pure to be the leader of something like Team Plasma. He was certainly a puppet king, and it became apparent that he never agreed with Plasma's true wishes. 

Manipulated. That is the first thing Alder thought of. But it was more than that. Alder could only see the tip of the Avalugg, but N didn't act  _ normal _ . His room was full of children's toys. It was trashed. How long did he live in there? Every gesture N made conveyed a sort of fear, and a sense of uncertainty. He didn't know anything, and he was afraid. Uncertainty was a breeding ground of trouble, he knew. Alder wanted to be sure N didn't stray while in such a tumultous state.

N was certainly an enigma, and Alder wanted to see what he held.

Alder traveled to his room at last, and it hit him how empty it was. There was a bed, dresser, nightstand. Not much else. Usually Alder was a firm believer of "home is where the heart is" but something in his train of thought uprooted this belief. Alder still wasn't sure of what  _ he  _ was doing. How was he going to help some kid who probably had it worse off than him? But there was no other option. Alder was a hands-on man, and he knew no one else would be able to see what he saw in N.

He knew within the next few days, the police would likely arrive to talk to all of them. Alder would do what he could to protect N, but N's own testimony would play the biggest role in his future. Arceus. He didn't want to deal with tomorrow, and that doesn't even speak of the days following. He needed to step up and be a champion.

He thumbed his pocket, pulling out a worn leather wallet. He opened it up to a small picture creased with age and care. Volcarona. He missed her. She saw her goal realized with Alder, but would she be proud of him now? He was rather aimless. He didn't want all of this power now, a notion his younger self would have scoffed at.

It wasn't very late, but Alder sunk into his bed with a deep-seated tiredness, thumbing the photo one last time before tucking it away. He couldn't think about her now. Not when his mind was clouded like this. He was afraid his image of her would be tainted with guilt and uncertainty. However, despite his exhaustion and his resolve to not think of things with no answers, Alder spent most of the night sleepless, thinking of what became of himself.

…

Alder was typically a morning person, and even today he was up rather early. As he headed into the lounge he could hear the sounds of Marshal lifting weights in his room, but Shauntal and Grimsley's rooms were silent. They weren't exactly morning people. When he arrived, he was surprised to see Caitlin and N together, each holding a mug of something warm. Both pairs of eyes flickered to them, as their conversation came to a halt.

"You two are up early," Alder commented.

Caitlin hummed. "Today is rather important. The aftermath of everything begins," she said even this quite calmly, as she did everything.

"I… suppose that is true. Can't say I'm looking forward to it," It shouldn't surprise him that Caitlin would say this with such bluntness. "N, did you sleep well?" Alder added, with a glance at how out of place the boy looked.

"Yes! Um, very well," N looked a bit startled to be included in the conversation. "And Caitlin made tea, which was really nice," he looked like he wanted to talk more, but stopped himself.

"We still have some water left in the kettle for tea. It'd go great with some… eggless pancakes," she stated after a contemplative look at N. "N here doesn't eat eggs, I would guess,"

"How did you know that?" N looked perplexed. 

"I have… powers. I am a psychic type trainer, after all. We are known for them,"

"Really? I've never met a psychic before; I didn't know they were real. How does it work? It's so perplexing, but there must be a formula for it!" N spoke more confidently now. "Is there anything else you can do ?" He asked.

"Of course. I love when people take an interest in my abilities," She barely smiled, but Alder knew how happy this made her. She was really a bit of a show off, but too proud to initiate things herself. Alder chuckled, watching as she went through her usual party tricks. Guessing favorite colors, Pokemon, and the sort. He had heard it before, so he decided he should go ahead and make breakfast.

What exactly goes good with pancakes? That was vegetarian, of course. Really, it was easy to guess N wouldn't like meat. He had an unusually strong connection to Pokemon. He claimed he could talk to them, and it looked like he did. There have been cases of people having this ability, or variations of it, but not from Unova. Most cases were from Kanto, specifically the Viridian Forest. Alder remembered meeting a fellow champion with this power. He blanked on his name.  _ I really am getting old. _

Alder decided to fry some potatoes too. Cooking was therapeutic. Nothing was exact, and he could easily get lost in the rhythm of chopping, frying, or mixing. As he began putting the first batch of pancakes in the pan, N walked in. He didn't say anything, only watched as Alder flipped and pulled pancakes onto a plate.

"How was your talk with Caitlin?" Alder asked. He wondered how interested the man really was. He seemed to be easily engrossed in things he was intrigued with.

"It was great! She showed me some cool things. I think I'd like to learn more about it," he smiled. 

Have you considered talking to her about your… abilities? They seem similar. And while your case isn't quite unique, I've never seen it manifest here. Or in quite the same way," Alder suggested.

"There are people like me? That's… I never even considered it!

"They are rare though, and far away. I believe only about two have been recorded in the last few decades," Alder tried not to get N's hopes too far up. The chances of him meeting either of those trainers was slim, even if they were both fairly famous.

"Only two?" N bit his lip, pondering this. "The chances of me meeting them are… negligible," he sighed. "But it's still so great to know there are people who  _ understand _ . I feel like I've been speaking to a wall for years!"

Alder could try to set N up to meet that Kanto champion, but he didn't want to say anything unless it was concrete. Instead, he handed N a mixing bowl and pulled him closer. "Ever made pancakes? I don't think one batch is enough for Marshal's workout apppetite," he explained jovially.

N looked like he had been handed a scalpal and asked to perform brain surgery. "I've never cooked anything," he admitted timidly. That wasn't surprising. 

"Well, I'll show you! Everybody should learn to cook. Although you should never trust anyone here to even microwave," he joked around. "Grimsley managed to set a bowl of cereal on fire once. I'm not sure how," Despite his tone, this was actually true. Grimsley isn't allowed in the kitchen alone because of it.

N paled slightly. Alder patted him on the back "You'll be fine! I'm practically a gourmet chef," he pointed to the recipe and measuring cups, showing N how to measure and mix properly. He made a mess with the powders and milk, and his first few in the pan were unevenly cooked. But he did it. They were his pancakes, something he did and learned. His shirt was dusted in flour and his hands were sticky with dough, but he smiled and let Zorua lick the raw pancake off of his hands. N asked Zorua something, and giggled at the response Alder didn't hear. Maybe he really  _ could _ talk to Pokemon.

N set the table, while alder plated the pancakes and potatoes. Caitlin was already there, patient with her cup of tea. Others started filtering in at the smell of food. First Marshal, Shauntal, then Grimsley. Grimsley looked tired as he plopped into his chair. He was always a night person, but it seemed his insomnia was always getting worse nowadays. "This looks splendid. Thank you, Alder," he hummed, and the rest of the table murmured their appreciation as well.

"Thank N too, he was a big help today," Alder said. N ducked his head a bit, but smiled.

"It was nothing. Alder did it much better," N deflected.

"That doesn't matter. A meal is always better if it's made by someone else," Shauntal shot back, "It's good to try new things, and it's good to see you now. Your eyes… they have a better look to them,"

"My eyes?"

"Yes! I remember them. Your eyes inspired me to write, but they also saddened me. They're just as inspiring now, but now I can see their motivations are true," Shauntal almost choked on her food as she stood up. "I have to write that down!" She exclaimed as she shot off. This drew a chuckle out of everyone, even Marshal. 

"Don't mind her, she does that sometimes," Grimsley smiled with a glance at N's confusion, "Her mind is always in the clouds, but it always pays off for her. She's quite the brilliant writer,"

N laughed too, and soon after, Shauntal returned with a journal in hand, writing furiously as she ate. Even as the world seemed to be on the verge of deep trouble, the group laughed as they ate their slightly-burnt pancakes. For even just a few moments, it looked like everything would be all right.

After breakfast, Alder eyed N's injuries. They looked superficial, but it was easy for even mild injuries to get infected. N's bandaging job was rather clumsy, and a few bigger wounds were still open. Alder grimaced at that. Those were definitely going to get infected.

As N made to exit the kitchen, Alder caught his sleeve. "Let me help you with your wounds," he offered.

"Sorry, I didn't really know what to do with the stuff you gave me," N looked mildly guilty as he tried to explain.

"No, no, don't apologize! Alder reassured him. "They would have to be redone anyway," Geez, just how bad did N have it with Ghetsis? He seemed nervous at every mistake, even talking too much. Alder hoped he could help him unlearn that mindset.

The two set off for the bathroom, and Alder gestured for N to take a seat on the toilet lid. He pulled out the first aid kit and washed his hands, N watching silently the whole time. "Go ahead and take those bandaids off," Alder suggested.

Alder explained what he was going to do. N seemed to pick up quickly, asking questions along the way. It's important to explain medical procedures, even minor ones. N wasn't bothered much by the stinging peroxide, but he shyed away when Alder merely brushed against him. Maybe he was just touch aversive. But Alder had a feeling it was more serious than that.

"Did Ghetsis ever… hurt you? Or threaten to?" Alder asked tentatively, ready to pull back his question if N looked uncomfortable.

Of course, N  _ did  _ look uncomfortable, but he answered before Ghetsis could say anything. "Well, um… sometimes," he mumbled, "But not often!" He tried to reassure Alder. "Only when he was… very mad,"

Alder was certainly not reassured. "That doesn't matter. He still did," he stopped redressing N's wounds. "I'm not surprised, given him, but I'm still--" he cut off his yell into a sharp breath of air. Not the time or place for yelling. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," he sighed. "But that's despicable,"

"I know I shouldn't defend him, but I can't help it," N admitted. "I mean, he's still my dad. He took me in when no one else did,"

"Ghetsis isn't your real father?"

N shook his head vigorously "Arceus no! Ghetsis adopted me, sort of," N fidgeted with his necklace as he thought, "My real parents were scared that I could speak to Pokemon. They thought I was a Zorua who stole their child. I lived with Pokemon in the wild until he found me,"

That was… astounding. It sounded unreal. "How old were you?" Alder asked. He wanted to verify that this was real and not one of Ghetsis's lies.

"I don't really know," N said, "I remember living in the woods though. I even remember a few of the Pokemon I was with," he pointed at the cube on his pants, "I've had this since before I met my dad,"

"That's unbelieveable. He just grabbed you from the woods?" Alder exclaimed, "I think the police need to hear this when they come to question us," he sighed.

"The police are questioning us?" N jumped at this, "But I-- I can't--" N didn't finish, panic setting in.

"You'll be okay, N!" Alder realized his mistake. Of course N would be scared of the police. The rest of Plasma's higher ups were arrested as well. "I'll make sure they won't take you away. You just need to tell them what Plasma did and planned," he promised. N's circumstances ensured he would be safe. And if he wasn't, Alder would use his influence to vouch for him. It wasn't something he usually approved of, but he would make an exception for this.

N calmed a bit at this. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you'll be fine, I promise,"

N sat back down and sighed wearily, " I'm just so tired of this," he confessed, "I wish this could just go away,"

"Me too. But this is something we can't run from," Alder held out his hand to pull N up, "But we can take our time to rest today, and tomorrow we'll face it like the champions we are,"

N chuckled at the inside joke and grabbed Alder's hand, "Yeah, we are champions,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Alder's pov? I'm not as comfident in writing him, but I hope I did well. If you can guess the other trainers who speak to Pokemon, congrats! I also have a bit of a headcanon I want to explore with N being a Zorua. It's a reference to changelings, who would leave their fairy babies in the cribs of infants. These "changeling" children were often autistic, and I thought it was a nice paralell since N is commonly headcanoned as that.


	4. Awaiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which N is nervous. Very nervous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a Thanksgiving miracle! What do you mean it's not Thanksgiving anymore?  
Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Sorry it took so long.

The police were coming soon, they had to be. N's heart refused to calm and his stomach burned like he had eaten a flaming lump of coal. Alder promised that he would be okay, but  _ what if? _ What if he was lying, or simply misjudged the police? There were too many variables N couldn't see. It felt too much, too much--

_ N…  _ Zorua jumped on his lap, pawing his face.  _ Will we get in trouble? _ He asked sheepishly. N startled out of his spiraling thoughts. It took a moment to even remember what Zorua had even asked.

"We… you'll be fine, Zorua. You didn't do anything wrong," Zorua frowned at this, sensing the unspoken admittance to N's guilt.  _ But N… if you're not here, who'll be my friend? _

Zorua really wouldn't have anywhere to go if N was gone. He didn't have a pack, and it was hard for him to warm up to people. He would be alone. The very thought sent a flash of anger through N. He couldn't leave Zorua alone. They only had each other. He set is jaw in a determined frown. "You're right, Zorua. I won't let them take me from you. If we have to, we'll run," he said.

Zorua still looked worried, but he still nuzzled into N with an excited headbutt.  _ Okay! Ooh, it'll be fun to be on the run! Like in a movie!  _ N very much doubted it would be like in a movie, but he kept his mouth shut. There was no reason to spoil his friend's fun now.

Now N had a new adrenaline running through him. He was determined to make it out of here, and his fear was slowly overrun by anticipation. Alder and the others looked at him a bit strange as he paced with renewed fervor, but he didn't mind them. One of these people pulled him aside after being distracted by him one too many times. "You're much to fidgety," said the tall, tired looking man. 

"Sorry, I'm just nervous," N said, still messing with his necklace. "About the police," he clarifed at a confused look.

The man sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Damn, how did I forget about that? I'm off my game," He mumbled. "But listen. Pacing around won't do anything. How about we do something with this energy," and with that, he slid into one of the chairs gracefully and pulled out a deck of cards. "What sort of card games do you play?"

N really hadn't played cards before. After a prolonged moment of silence, the man sighed. "Blackjack it is,"

As it turns out, N had mixed results with card games. Even if they were luck based, this luck was based on percentages, which were easy to calculate. However, N was terrible at reading Grimsley's expressions. He still has never understood how or why people are able to tell what someone's thinking just by a glance at their face.

After another frustrating round of cards, Grimsley put his cards on the table and smiled. "I suppose that was a bit rude of me-- to impose on you with a game you don't enjoy " he said, "I can see this isn't your forte, so what is?"

N didn't truly have many hobbies, at least not a wide variety of them. "Math. And Pokemon," he said at last. "Those are definitely my favorite things. I mean, they're both so complex, but theres a pattern to them, y'know? I don't get people as much as I get Pokemon or math,"

Grimsley nodded, but N couldn't tell if he was really interested. Grimsley leaned back, deep in thought. "So, I get the part about math, but what about Pokemon? How are they any more patterned than humans?"

That was a tough question. It was just something that came naturally to him. "Well, Pokemon tend to be upfront when they talk. They want to tell you what they're thinking more than people do, I've found," he stumbled over an explanation. "And even if they don't tell you everything, their body language is easy to get. Most Pokemon of one species will have the same body language. You just have to piece it together,"

"So, is that how you 'talk' to Pokemon? With body language?" Grimsley questioned. He evidently heard that N could talk to Pokemon. "I wish people were that easy to read," he laughed. "Then I could be rich,"

"What do you mean?" N thought that Grimsley's job was working for the Elite Four.

"Well, I'm a gambling man," Grimsley explained. "My family used to own a quite famous parlor. I compete in high-stake games of whatever card game you can name," he set a level stare at N, gaze burning. "Math and Pokemon are your passions, but mine? Gambling. And winning, most importantly,"

N could see why he was in the Elite Four. A gambler was really just someone addicted to winning, addicted to playing stakes. He supposed it wasn't much different from wanting to win a tough battle. "So what happened to your family's parlor? If it was so famous, what happened to it?"

Grimsley turned his gaze downward, and his usual smirk turned slightly wistful. "Well, many things happened to it," he sighed, "But ultimately, it's gone now. I joined the Elite Four pretty soon after, although… well, you probably don't need to hear this, but I'm not sure how much longer I can stick around here,"

That was… Concerning. Should N tell someone about that? No, no, Grimsley probably wouldn't want that. In fact, he seemed to have regretted saying that now. He snapped out of his strange trance with a "Sorry, I shouldn't put that on your shoulders," and took a quick glance at Zorua, sleeping on N's lap. "I've been meaning to ask, since I consider myself a dark type expert, but where did you find a Zorua? I've never seen one, as they're incredibly rare,"

N tried to reel his memory back quickly, adjusting to the quick subject change. "I'm not really sure," he admitted. "All I know is that one day dad just brought him home, like all the other Pokemon. But… Zorua was the only one that stayed. He never wants to talk about where he came from," N only knew that Zorua came from a terrible place, like the rest of them. It took so long to even get him to speak.

"There were other Pokemon?"

"Lots of others,"

Grimsley frowned slightly at this. "I see. Can I pet Zorua, if he doesn't mind?"

N didn't think Zorua would want to be touched by anyone else, but he supposed it was his choice. He gently shook Zorua awake and quietly pointed out Grimsley. He explained that he was a dark type master, and N was right there if he was uncomfortable. Zorua sized up Grimsley across the table.  _ I'll do it. _ He said nervously.

"Are you sure?" Zorua jumped off his lap and headed across the table before he could even finish the question. He sat on the table, stock still. His fur shimmered lightly at the edges like a mirage as he fought the urge to transform into something else and run. Grimsley held out a hand. Good. It's better for Zorua to make the first move. The fox carefully sniffed the offering. Finally, he lowered his head and lightly shoved it under the awaiting hand. Grimsley didn't move his hand, only threaded his fingers through Zorua's long fur.

After a moment, Zorua quickly retreated. With a  _ poof, _ he turned into a Joltik and skittered back to N. "That was really good! I'm proud of you," Zorua was currently too small to snuggle, so he scritched under his abdomen with an index finger. "I'm sorry if he seems scared, he's not used to people," N explained again. "If you want to hang out with him more, he loves fetch," he offered.

"No, that was wonderful! I've never gotten that close to a Zorua," Grimsley beamed. "I'd love that,"

After permission from Zorua, N handed a chew toy to Grimsley. N watched the two play from the couch, seeing how they would both react. It was rare to see someone who knew how to approach a Zorua like Grimsley. Even now, he let Zorua change forms to throw the ball back at a distance. As the game wore on, Zorua would occasionally show his true form. N had never seen Zorua be so open with someone else, even if he still had alot of work to do.

N almost forgot about what was worrying him, losing himself in the rhythm of the game. When he heard the knocking on the door, his heart still lept in his throat. Grimsley stood up and stretched. "That's my cue to pack up," he said, "You should do the same. It'll probably be an overnight trip," and with that, he disappeared into his room.

N tried to listen to Alder's conversation as he packed. It seemed to mostly be small talk, but N wanted to be sure it was safe to go. As he heard Alder head back into the living room, he scrambled to look busy. Alder brought in another man with him, with dark hair and a long coat. As the Elite Four began trickling in at the commotion, the man turned to N.

"Are you N?" He asked. "I've done some research on you. You've got quite a story," he hurriedly shook N's hand before clearing his throat to talk to everyone. "Greetings, my code-- er, my name is Looker, I'm here on behalf of the International Police." Looker said in a gruff, yet clear voice. "As I'm sure you know, Team Plasma's main plans took place here and involved all of you," His eyes seemed to bore into N as he said this.

Looker explained that he would take N and the others to the nearest station after he looked through the castle. "In fact," he stated, pointing at N, "Would you mind coming with me while I investigate?"

"M-me?" No, no, that was  _ not _ okay. But refusing would look shady, wouldn't it? "Can I bring someone with me? Like Alder? He's already been to the castle too," 

Looker glanced between Alder and N, considering. "Sorry, but I don't want this place too crowded. But you can bring your Pokemon with you if you're nervous," With that, he waved at N to follow him. "Are we ready to go? I'm sure we all want to get through this as fast as possible,"

N led Looker to the castle, nervously feeling the others fade away. This wasn't a formal questioning, but he wasn't sure if that was better or worse. According to his father, policemen were bad news. Supporting the suffering of Pokemon and getting in the way of Team Plasma. But father is a liar, right? But N hasnt seen enough evidence of the contrary to convince him otherwise. He doesn't know what to think anymore.

"Don't worry. If all goes to plan, this should be quick and easy for all of us," Looker assured N. He began glancing through doorways and rooting through important looking rooms. N started to wonder if this man was really a professional. 

"You won't find much important in there," said N as Looker searched through the third grunt barrack.

"I need to be sure theres no evidence in here," Looker replied, rifling through an empty bed. N sat there as he stripped each room for evidence, not finding much. He wanted to get this over with.

"I can show you the most… incriminating rooms," N offered. It's why he was here, after all.

"Yes! Of course. Show me the rooms so we can be on our way," Looker agreed a little too quickly. N led him first to his own room. His reaction was similar to Alder's, perhaps more controlled. He set about looking through every nook and cranny, taking pictures and notes as he went along. He repeated this process throughout all the other rooms N showed, including his sisters' room and the room where he fought with Reshiram. It seemed that Looker was actually quite competent when he was given a narrower focus. It was cathartic to watch him look at this place objectively, searching through it with only an inkling of the things that have taken place.

Looker took one last once-over of the castle. He looked tired as N led him out again. It seemed the negativity of the place was felt even by outsiders. He kept jotting down notes, chewing on his pen as he thought. Looker hadn't asked many questions, or even talked to him too much besides making inquiries on directions or on things that were in the rooms.

N felt the pressure to talk, to get things over with. All this thinking and worrying exhausted him. However, he was far too scared to try talking, and he knew it wouldn't do any good. He'd just have to wait.

As the group got ready to leave, the feeling steadily grew until it made him sick. He chose to ride Reshiram rather than any other Pokemon. It gave him a concerned glance as he stroked its feathers.  _ Are you sure you're up to flying? You seem unwell. _ It commented. It pushed a nose to his forehead, checking for said unwellness.  _ Hmm. You don't have a fever _ . 

"No, I'm fine," N lied. No. Reshiram doesn't deserve to be lied to. "Well… not really. But it's just something stupid. It'll pass," 

This didn't satisfy the dragon.  _ If they are hurting you-- _

"No! No, it's okay! They only want to help," he accidentally snapped. "Sorry," he quickly apologized. "I didn't mean that. But it's nothing either of us can stop,"

_ As long as you come to me if you need help _ . Reshiram gently nudged him once more. N chuckled at her incessant poking. 

"Alright, alright, Reshiram! We should get going before they get mad at us," N said through his laughter. Reshiram nodded and glanced at the others, still suspisious of them. It stopped down for N, although he still had to clamber up its back. He hoped he didn't hurt its feathers.

Reshiram stood up once again, and the height made his stomach fall. The others seemed so small, even from here. Without waiting for the others, the great dragon took off in a rush of wind. It flew around in lazy, slow circles above the league. Is this what it felt like? To be so grand and tall, like the lives of humans were small and fleeting. 

"Reshiram… what are humans to you?"

Reshiram rumbled in thought.  _ They are interesting creatures. Despite their short lives, they have changed the world more drastically than anything else. Humans are dangerous, but we need them to unlock our full potential. _

N didn't have much of a response to that, not yet. Reshiram let those words sit comfortably in the silence between their words.  _ We unlock their full potential. _ Those words made N feel right. He saw that feeling between trainer and Pokemon as he journeyed, but it was so much easier _ hearing _ it from a Pokemon, especially one like Reshiram.

"Do I do that? Unlock your potential?"  _ Am I worthy of you? _

_ Of course. You made me see how the heart changes. I thought all humans were the same. I believe I bring out the strength in you, too. _

Oh.  _ Oh _ . That's why Reshiram picked him. His change of heart. "My strength… was it because I changed my mind?"

_ Yes. You were able to see the truth, even when it didn't line up with your beliefs. That was very brave. _ With that, Reshiram swooped downward, scoping out the others.  _ It looks like it's time to go _ . Effortlessly, the dragon picked up speed, gliding faster than the wind towards an uncertain fate.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pace feels kinda wack here but we gotta chug through this next chapter or two while im out of my element. Hopefully then we'll get to the good stuff. What do you think of the character interactions? I'm not sure about Looker (not as familiar with him), but I feel like the rest turned out nice. But I wonder if I should tone it down a bit.


	5. The question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I'm sorry for being late on this one, and for it being shorter despite that. Not only are my midterms coming up, but this chapter did not want to be written! Even now, it's certainly not my favorite, but it should be the last set up chapter for now.

The journey to the police station was uneventful. Of course, it was still beautiful. It felt like the calm before the storm. Alder wasn't planner by any means, but just this once he wished he could see the future and prepare for it.

As the group touched down and returned their pokemon to their balls --except for N and Reshiram-- Alder noticed that the police station was rather worn down and cramped looking. Not really the place for an investigation this important. 

"Are you sure this is the best place for something like this?" Alder voiced his concerns to this so-called detective. He claimed to be part of the international police, but Alder was skeptical until he saw it with his own eyes.

"The next real station is several towns away, so yes," Looker said as he waved the group towards the building. The main lobby was not large, but the minimal furniture placement almost gave it such an illusion. There were only a few chairs, one of which Caitlin was already drifting towards. "Alright then, you'll wait here until I call you back," Looker's eyes scanned the group. "How about we start with… you, in the suit," he pointed towards Grimsley

Grimsley looked a bit surprised, but he shook it off with an airy wave. "Looks like I'm lucky number one," he said with a hint of a sigh. Looker led him past the lobby and out of sight.

The room slowly grew more restless as each person filtered in and out of questioning. Grimsley assured that it was straightforward and rather easy, yet even Caitlin and Marshal seem anxious to get going. He kept still, in the practiced stance of his meditation, yet Alder could tell he was simply biding his time. When Marshal left, Alder turned his attention to N. 

The young man was once again fidgeting with the strange cube hooked to his waist, spinning it in smooth, mesmerizing motions. Zorua watched him, clearly intrigued as he watched and barked to N. N replied with a laugh and murmured something else, spinning the cube in tricks as he solved it in different ways.

"I've been wondering what that is," Alder introduced as he took a seat next to N. "It looks a bit like a Rubik's cube," Now that he was closer, he could see that the cube had strange markings on it. He couldn't tell if it could be solved to make a cohesive pattern.

"This? It's a void cube," N smiled. "It's a bit like a Rubik's cube, but it's solved alot differently. I think it's neat that only a few missing pieces can create something entirely new, don't you think?" N asked. As Alder watched, he once again flipped the cube around with ease. The markings did seem to make a pattern after all.

"That  _ is _ interesting, I never thought if that," Alder supposed that was true. Only a few missing things, like Volcarona, or a goal, made Alder feel like a different person. He could divide his life into 2 distinct halves; one with Volcarona, and one without her.

"I'm glad we can bring Pokemon with us. I'm not sure I could handle this without Zorua," N admitted. "It's like… he's the only thing keeping me grounded sometimes. Everything else that did that is gone," 

"Even the bad things? Do you miss those?"

N stopped flipping the void cube around, now only staring at it. "Yeah. I guess I miss that too. It feels like I'm a time traveller, and everything I knew and believed is different now," He stopped again for a moment. "I-I mean, not that I don't appreciate this! And you. I know that I wouldn't have been able to change at all if I wasn't given a place to start,"

Alder nodded. "Of course. I had to change my ways by myself, but I see it as my duty as the champion to set trainers on the right path. Or it could be my duty as a father," he said, hoping N would fall for his bait.

"You're a father?" N asked. "I… didn't expect that," he directed his gaze to Zorua now. "Do they not live with you? I've never seen them,"

"Well, N, I'm glad you asked! I just so happen to have some pictures of them," Alder clapped a hand on N's shoulder. Perfect. Pulling out his wallet, he flipped through some pictures, settling on his grandson. "This is my boy Benga. I'd say he's only a few years younger than you now," This was an older picture, from a Pokemon tournament he had won. "He's a great battler, but boy is he a handful! Wouldn't trade the world for him," Alder let himself gloat a bit. It's not often that he gets to talk about Benga during his travels.

"Wow… he looks just like you," N commented. "I guess I was wrong about you making a good dad. Not that I have much experience with those," he laughed in a bit of a wistful way. "What other fanily do you have?" N continued a bit too quickly, seemingly keen to brush over that middle statement.

Alder gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "We can fix that," And then, moving onto the next topic with the sane fluidity that N did, he flipped to Volcarona's page. "This was my partner back in my youth. She was magnificent, wouldn't you say?"

"A Volcarona? She seems as radiant as the sun itself. I've never seen one before, but she looks happy," Said N, studying the creased photo carefully. "Was? Is she not your partner anymore?" Alder could sense the way N tried to tiptoe around the question, although the answer was obvious. 

"I lost her. A few years back, she fell ill and nobody knew what from,"

N pursed his lips into a thin line, hugging Zorua close to him. Before he could respond, a door down the hall clicked. "That's probably me," Alder said. He gave the distraught boy a pat on the shoulder. "It is something that pains me, but I know she's happy now. All you can do for your Pokemon is provide them with the best life you can. And I know that comes naturally to you," 

However, when Alder went to meet with Looker, the detective gestured to N instead. "I want to talk to you last," he said, providing no further explanation despite the champion's prodding. At a loss for what to do next, he sat next to Marshal to wait. He took a glance at Alder.

"It's gonna be a long day, isn't it?"

"It's gonna be a long while. We still have the aftermath of this whole mess," Alder sighed. "Say, Marshal, what do you think of that kid? You haven't said much about him,"

Marshal crossed his arms. "He certainly has a lot to clesn up after," he replied. "But despite everything, I think he has a good heart. And a good mentor to boot," he added with a self-assured nod. "You can make someone good out of him,"

"I sure hope so. I can barely handle myself at times. But I think what N needs is a good father, and I can give that to him,"

.

.

.

Alder's interview was quite easy to get through. Most of Looker's questions were just to corroborate what the Elite Four and N had said. The detective seemed to go on tangents occasionally and had some strange, slightly overdramatic reactions to some of the champion's answers. When Looker stopped talking and began shuffling papers around for an uncomfortably long time, Alder took it as his cue to leave. However, Looker called him back.

"What is your plan, champion?" Looker challenged, palms spread flat on the table. "You have a shaken region to bring together and the leader of the people who sought to tear Unova apart in your house,"

"I consider myself a man quite capable of bringing people together. Unova will be back on its feet in no time," Alder smoothly lied. Bringing people out of their shell was a bit different than uniting an entire region. "N's a good person. They can see his change, especially with Ghetsis's plan exposed,"

"You overestimate people. It could take a long time for them to see," Looker retorted. "I understand that you want to keep N with you, but it could be wise to think of an alternative. Maybe it's better that he left Unova, at least for now,"

Alder knew that he was probably right. Was he equipped to deal with someone like this, especially with everything else? But who else was there? Besides, he felt a fondness for the boy.

"Unova is his home, I'm not forcing him to leave," 

"Is there another option? You must think with your head, not your heart,"

"If the people won't see on their own, I can make them see. N can stay with me," Alder threw out as a last resort. Would he be endangering N? "I have a plan, but it'll be up to him. If he doesn't want to stay, I won't force him,"

Looker heaved a deep sigh, clearly trying to think of a counterargument. "Alright. You are the champion after all," He straightened the already tidy pile on his desk. "But listen. I have people he could go to. Just temporarily. I saw a bit of what his childhood was like and… I don't want to put any more on his plate,"

Alder nodded. Of course he understood. He found N rather quickly, as expected, and pulled him aside. "I talked to Looker," he said. "It seems rather dangerous for you right now, but we have two options,"

"Only two? What are they?" N questioned, seemingly nervous about the possible change.

"You can either leave Unova temporarily and lay low in another region," Alder started. "Or you can stay with me. I'll be traveling the country to ease the people's minds. This could be an opportunity to redeem yourself to people," Alder, of course, tried to push N towards the second option, despite feeling slightly guilty for doing so. But N  _ needed _ this, he could feel it. He knows the boy wants to apologize for Team Plasma. 

N didn't seem to like either of those options, but he pondered for quite a bit, chewing his lip as he did so. Finally, he took a deep breath and said, almost as if it hurt him, "I want to stay. I need to. Unova's taught me so much, I think I need to return the favor," He scooped up Zorua, holding him up to eye level. "What do you think? Do you want to stay?" He asked. Zorua yipped without hesitation. The former king turned back to Alder, lips quirked in a slight smile. "Alright, Zorua wants to stay too,"

Alder beamed at that. What a relief! He wants to stay! The old champion knew it wasn't just him, but he hoped that his actions had encouraged N to stay and help. "Well then, I think we have a road trip ahead of us,"


	6. Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the weight of being different becomes too much. As N and Alder plan to leave, N doesn't know if he should abide by what is true, or what he has always known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for such a long weight and a shorter chapter. Holidays, sickness, and writers block all got to me. I'm considering editing these stories in a different way. Instead of releasing when I finish, I'll write a few chapters at a time and release them all at once so I have more time to see if I like them. As it is, this story may go under some big revisions when im finished with it, so think of this like a beta. What do you guys think?

N picked up the remote and flipped the TV on. He didn't want to think too much right now. The world felt too vast sometimes, like there were far too many possibilities and things to know. A few others made their way through the living room, attracted to the sound of whatever show was on. Grimsley draped himself onto the chair, letting his legs hang over in a way that looked rather uncomfortable. "What happened to packing your things?" He asked. It really did sound like it was hard for him to breathe like that.

"I don't have much to pack,"

Grimsely winced slightly. "That's right..." he replied. After an uncomfortable silence he added, "I can grab you the basics. I'm sure we have extras somewhere,"

N hadn't even thought about that. He would ceetainly need some extra clothes, a toothbrush, and other essentials. Grimsley rolled off of the chair and headed towards the bathroon before N could even reply, beckoning the younger man along. "Hmm. Let's see how good my memory is," Grimsley hummed aloud. "Not that it isn't great," he started opening the overhead cabinets and shifting things around. "You look through the bottom cabinets, I'll get these," he said.

The cabinets were filled with an assortment of items in a messy, barely organized fashion. "The state of these cabinets are giving me a headache," N grumbled, fishing out a tube of half used toothpaste. Hopefully no one would miss it. 

Grimsley chuckled. "Does it seem like any of us are organized? Except Marshal, but he insists we do it ourselves," he said. He had already pulled out deoderant, a toothbrush, and a bottle of… conditioner?

"I don't need conditioner," N said.

Grimsley looked at him like he had grown a second head. "Please tell me you're joking."

"What? My hair is fine like it is,"

"Alright then," Grimsley said. He leaned back and crossed his arms. "Run you fingers through your hair,"

N did so. His fingers stopped almost immediately. "Well… My hair's always been like this," N tried to defend himself weakly.

"Just take the damn conditioner." Grimsley sighed. He shoved the bottle into N's hands and continued to root around in the cabinets. N didn't see why having untangled hair was so important, but he decided to at least consider the advice.

Soon enough, the two boys gathered a bag of toiletries, ranging from clothes to face wash (N also didn't see the importance of that, but Grimsley looked like he would have some choice words for him if he refused it). Alder and he weren't set to leave for another few days, but leaving begged the question: what would he do with Reshiram? He hated to leave it behind, but how would he be able to bring it with him? Zorua was inconspicuous enough, but how would he bring an enourmous, world ending dragon with him?

"What do you think, Zorua?" He asked. He picked up the fox underneath the armpits and held him up to face height. Zorua leaned forward and nibbled on N's nose. "Stop it! You're naughty!" N laughed and brought Zorua into a hug. "Have you ever really met Reshiram? I know you've seen it, but I think you two should get to know each other," 

Zorua shook his head vigorously.  _ Reshiram's scary,  _ he said.

N frowned. "It's just a Pokemon like any other. I think you two would get along. In fact, I'm going to talk to it right now if you want to come," he offered. Zorua didn't have strong bonds with a lot of Pokemon or any person besides N. Any friends he did have… well, N released them, didn't he? He felt his heart sink slightly at that thought. Maybe he should try to find his friends.

With that, N once again left for the large overhang that encompassed the Pokemon league. However, Reshiram wasn't there. Where was it? Did it leave him after all? He heard a great roar and looked up. The feathered dragon circled overhead, swooping down to meet him. N breathed a sigh of relief; he didn't want to lose any more friends.

Reshiram didn't land, but it flew close to the ground, kicking up dust and wind, almost brushing it's wings against him. It lifted up again, climbing into the sky, then dropped, folding its wings in and falling at a dizzying speed. 

N watched Reshiram fly and play in the air. He itched to join it, if only he had another flying Pokemon. After a few minutes, the dragon flew down and landed, slowly dropping with each flap of its wings.  _ Hello, N.  _ It rumbled. It lowered its huge muzzle to floor level, peeking around his legs.  _ And your friend.  _ It sniffed the Zorua, whose fur shimmered and puffed out.  _ There's no need for someone like you to be afraid _ , it purred.

Zorua unfroze slightly, moving forward to inspect Reshiram as well. Reshiram licked him, seemingly forgetting the size difference between them.  _ ACK! _ Zorua startled and took a step back.  _ You're HUGE!  _ He smirked,  _ But I bet I could do that too _ ! With that, his body morphed and grew into something that almost looked like Reshiram. He gazed at the dragon from his now higher vantage point and fixed the smaller details he had missed. Now Reshiram stood back to look at the double.  _ Illusionary powers?  _ It questioned,  _ Well, I doubt it stacks up to the real thing! _ With that, it dashed towards the edge of the stairs and jumped. It glided close to the stairs as gravity helped it pick up speed. Zorua howled and gave pursuit, bounding down the stairs on all fours.

"Wait! Reshiram!" N called too late. Reshiram was long gone. What should he do now? Really, the only thing he  _ could _ do was wait for the two to come back. N heard someone approaching and turned around, seeing no one for quite a few seconds. When he began to think it was just his imagination, the red mane of Alder appeared, jogging down the path.

"Alder? What are you doing here?"

"I live here, of course. Was that commotion Reshiram?" He asked, seemingly noting the distinct lack of dragon. 

"I came out here to ask it something, but I guess it got distracted with Zorua," N explained. "I never knew it had a playful side like that! But it makes sense, considering how long it's been… contained," N was sure  _ trapped _ fit the description better, but he didn't want to think about that. 

"Well, every Pokemon likes to have fun, just like people!" Alder replied jovially. "I hope this means it's breaking out of its shell," He stopped for a moment, probably trying to remember what was said in N's rather quick dialogue. N was often told he needed to speak slower.

"Well, what did you mean to ask it? Maybe I could help," Alder suggested.

"Well, I can't bring Reshiram with me… with us, without being incredibly obvious. I feel like having a legendary dragon would draw too much attention to me, especially after everything. But I can't leave it behind. I can't bear to leave my friends behind again," N said. "What should I do? The only thing i can think of is to leave it in the woods like… like it's lesser than us!"

Alder frowned and scratched his chin. He didn't speak for a good few seconds. "So," he began, "I know you have had some bad experiences with them, but what about a Pokeball?"

"A… Pokeball?" Of course Alder would suggest it. It was the most obvious thing in the world, like one plus one. But N's insides chilled at the thought of…  _ capturing _ a Pokemon. Pokeballs aren't cages, he knows this. Almost every Pokemon he's met has been in one and didn't mind them. Ghetsis's words shouldn't have such a sway on N when he knows them to be false.

Alder held out a Pokeball now, a black and yellow one. "Think about it, and ask Reshiram what it thinks too. But this is just in case," N took the ball reluctantly. The metal felt awfully cold.

"Thanks," He lied. Could he ever use this? His entire body seemed to reject it. To place a living creature into something so cold and unfeeling… was that moral? N settled down onto the stairs, waiting for his friends to come back while he thought this over.

"Hey, hey, it's alright if you don't want to. Not every trainer uses them," Alder reassured, sitting down next to N. "It's just… I want to let you have a normal life, and to have the freedom to move past this." 

It seemed so impossible to him. Everything that's happened to him is a part of who he is now, how he sees the world. He would always be different. His thoughts, his speech, even his  _ hair _ seems somehow wrong to everyone else. "I'll never be normal! I'm-- I  _ am _ a freak, aren't I? I can't even use a Pokeball! I'll never see a trained Pokemon and think that it's natural and healthy! I'm just wrong and stupid and I hate it. I hate feeling broken."

N got up. He didn't want to be around anyone, even if he knew Alder cared about him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I just need to be alone right now,"

"I know I can't make you stay, but please don't run. Lets talk about it," Alder asked. He patted the staircase, silently pleading for him to sit back down. 

N shook his head. A mental dam seemed to prevent him from speaking as his heart picked up in anticipation of something. Alder stood in between him and the league, so he went the only other way he could.

He turned and ran down the endless stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you all know that this fic hasn't been abandoned. However, I realize I haven't planned this enough, so I am going back and fixing this and thinking about where I want this fic to go.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is very malleable, so please leave any suggestions you'd like. Bear with me, I don't know where this story will go.


End file.
